Faith Based Heart by Julie Black

So picking up where I left off last. We where in California and we where uncertain of where God was calling us to go after my husband quit his job! All of our securities, benefits, and safety nets where GONE… GONE, GONE, GONE! We have two little boys to provide for and all we had was this glimmer of faith to keep us from losing our sanity or the remnants of what was left.

Daily we chugged along seeking out Gods will for us. Faithfully putting one foot in front of the other. We listed the house, Kyle found a job that we both knew was a temporary landing. Though a blessing the job didn’t ease our hearts because we knew the answer to prayer was still unfolding! So we remained earnest that God was going to move mountains for us! Than we received the call we had been longing for…. a job opportunity for Kyle to take over a well established book from a previous financial advisor. We where floored! All of our worries, doubts and aches where finally drawing to an end!

Here is what I must tell you my friend it’s painful at times following after God. You will look crazy! But let me tell you this when you’re truly in it for Him-nothing else matters. He will provide more, and I mean MORE than you will imagine. Life is hard and there is no perfect way to go about faith, parenting, marriage you know all the real things that matter in life! But let me tell you this -if your heart is truly for God He will not let you fail! He will pick you up over and over again to get you back on His path He has desired for you to follow.

Now people truly thought my husband and I where off our rockers for quitting such a high paying job without another lined up. But now God has the final laugh. Through our obedience of taking the initial step, we truly walked by faith and not by sight knowing God was already before us! At times it’s hard to believe that to be true, when the years pass and the prayers seem unanswered. However, today My husband and I can both see how important those years of silence where. It was in those years of silence- me on my knees crying out to God to move us, that He was already at work. Using that time to prepare Kyle and I for this move all along. He was restoring  our marriage so we could endure the challenges that come with moving across the Country, leaving everything we know to be a true support for one another. He was paving the way and allowing us to mature so we could be capable of fulfilling His desires for our family not our earthly ones.

we all get to choose in this life what we will chase: money, fame, riches or will it be Jesus? As I look at the world, it’s easy to feel lost or discouraged. I’ve been there time and time again and it’s in faith we can look at all the craziness and look up and realize our time here on earth is but a moment. And when we remember that this world is not our ever after it changes the perspective of how we can view people and hopefully our lenses come into focus where we realize the ONLY thing that matters is how well we have loved one another. For it’s the only thing that can change the course in which we are all headed. For the greatest commandment is LOVE. So do it well and realize that regardless of what obstacles you are facing in this moment their is NOTHING to big for Jesus!  I hope you feel encouraged and loved by this post.

hugs,

Julie Black

So….I am a quitter I don’t mean to be but I am. I start off with the best intentions and than I slide off the ban wagon. I have gained 10 pounds and every time I get into a good gym groove and clean eating schedule we get sick (no joke) within the 7-10 days of our workout plan and before I know it it’s been a month of gym free living! I hate it. I have been reading this book, “Girl, Wash your Face” and the author explains how keeping promises to yourself are just as important as keeping promises to others. This is an area in my life I struggle tremendously at! I do a pretty decent job at keeping promises to others especially my children but when it comes to me or that back rub I promised my Hubbie I’m a total flake!

I am determined to get refocused this next month… I am setting my plan into action. I started small setting a daily reminder to avoid sugar and limit carbs. Having a daily reminder helps me stay focused on the task at hand instead of worrying about the future. Okay next thing to do get back on my calcium/ magnesium supplement, and lastly get organized with meals! I have been in a whole Marie Kondo kick; which, has been very beneficial for my life right now to have organization amidst all the chaos with my husband’s career being in flux. Now it’s time to take some organization to our weekly meal routine; which in turn helps out with budget so win/win!

Febuary is also the resumption of my in home bible study. So I really need to get into gear so I can be an effective facilitator for these beautiful women! Mom life is hectic we wear so many hats and it can feel sometimes as if the weight of the world is on our shoulders. Between the kids, homeschool, working, tending to the home,  bible studies, time with our hubbies, friendships, and prioritizing ourselves it’s insane all we as women try to do! It’s been so refreshing to have help. Before my husband quit I was by myself non stop with the kids. Every appointment hair or otherwise I brought two little people with me! I RARELY got to do anything by myself and now I have help 24/7. It’s eased my anxiety and loneliness and offered me time to breathe. It’s been an absolute blessing from God, after six years of this solo mom gig to finally have some assistance and support! But as much as I love my Hubbie being home I know he needs to rejoin the working class so we can have income, health benefits, and 401k contributions. Those things are important right? Lol. As we seek God’s will I am getting excitedly nervous all at the same time. I am excited to see where God moves us or if He even does. I am excited for the potential of a new home in a new city perhaps in a new state altogether. The possibilies are endless and as I egerly peer into the future I have to regain my attention, “focus on today!” Why is it so hard to be content in the present? I look at my boys and think just treasure today, their voices, their sizes, their interests. For they too are ever changing (much faster than I can handles at times), yet I am always seeking God to give me glimpses of what’s ahead. But He works everything to His timing not ours.  So I must remain focused on Matthew 6:34

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Isn’t amazing how applicable the Bible truly is in this modern day and age? I am in awe of how scripture calms my soul and gives me applicable truths to implement into this crazy thought process I provoke within myself. Just worry about today! So I am going back like I said in the beginning of this blog post to reconnect my goals and prioritizes to what God has put before me for the 24- hour period. He knows all of my hearts desires and dreams so I can rest assured that He the king of kings will see to it that my heart is taken care of amidst the uneasy ness of this world.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

I may have no idea of what earthly struggles or blessings are before me but I do know my end destiny will be in heaven beside my one and only Father. I have to admit I get a little giddy at the idea of being before Him. I crave that moment to feel His presence to be encompassed by Him. To no longer fear any outcome because the best is before me. Death nor life can separate us from Him and in that I find complete and utter comfort, truth and reassurance. My life is but a glimpse of what is to come so I can take my next steps forward with a light heart and a worry free mind. I pray you find peace in that truth today!

hugs,

Julie Black

 

It’s no secret we live in a day and age where social media is everything! I personally hate social media but it’s so engrained in our culture that by not participating in it you’re taking a major setback in your business, blog, or any platform you so choose to embark upon!  I have tried to pinpoint my biggest frustration with social media (instagram) primarily and I would have to say I think my biggest hurtle in jumping in full heartedly is the lack of authenticity. Now before I get a bunch of hate mail let me say I get there are some wonderful people doing wonderful things on Instagram; however, I find it incredibly difficult to see so many children posing for cameras constantly. I myself have felt trapped to do this to my own children by being apart of this specific platform; however, it never sat right with me.

We need to have limits and my kids deserve privacy to live out their childhood without a camera being constantly in their face. They also deserve parents who know balance between technology and family time. It’s a vicious cycle. We want to be apart of society, we want to be “in the know,” so to speak! But c’mon people (I am preaching this to myself too) there has to be balance. I recently took down every photo of my kids on Instagram and it felt rejuvenating! I loved every second of it.

Being a faith blogger my kids are obviously very engrained in every aspect of my life yet God has put on my heart how I can still share my story without subjecting them to the world uncandidly. I have this desire to go against the trend and keep their lives private. I’m learning new things everyday and there isn’t a manual about raising kids in such a highly technological world and the long term effects on it. It’s trial and error unfortunately. But with every lesson I learn I’m that much more equipped in raising healthy, well rounded children.

With awareness progress inevitably follows. I am always seeking God’s quest in my life and through my faith based journey. I am blessed God challenges my heart on things that seem to be the “social norm,” He is always strengthening me- Putting my flaws and imperfections right before me, thus allowing me to see myself and actions from a higher perspective. I am a work in progress and what better place to be?

Hugs,

Julie Black

Hello friends,

Its been awhile since my last blog post, let me just reiterate I love writing but sometimes in the chaoes of life it feels good to take a breather and focus on what’s right in front of you. That’s what I’ve been doing these past weeks focusing on what’s right in front of me and I’m cherishing it! Last month my husband decided through prayer and much council to quit his job even though we didn’t have another one lined up …God has totally been providing for us. I started a side business of hosting and watching dogs and within a few weeks I became the number one sitter for pet families! December is also a time where I get to show off my baking skills and this year I even am turning a profit. So all in all God has opened the doors for some pretty incredible things to help us make ends meet. While Kyle keeps seeking out which carreer path God ultimately wants him to take.

This past year has been a butt kicker. Early on I was diagnosed with Barrett’s esophagus, my husband and I where tested in our marriage in more ways than I can count, and we decided to homeschool! It has been a year of tests but it’s also been a year of strength, faith and absolute blessings! God is faithful, He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. (Colossians 1:17) This I know to be true. As this year draws to an end, I find myself hopeful and relaxed. I normally seek the new year with a sense of urgency to make it better than my last but this year I am in awe of God. I believe in Him on an entirely different level. This type A, overly stressed, controlling personality is on time out and I am finding myself completely relaxed about these upcoming months. I have been truly learning these past years that no matter what I do – I am powerless. Now I want to clarify, this does not mean that I am abandoning my values, it just simply means that I have come to the maturity in my faith where I can truly comprehend that just because I may do the things that should give me my desired outcome that’s not always a garentee that will happen. And when things don’t go the way I anticipated, I have to step back and let God take hold versus working myself up in a frenzy and freaking out! Life is full of ups and downs but let me tell you the secret I’ve been learning these past months. Prayer is truly powerful, everything will happen in God’s TIMING, and not to fear.

Seven year ago I prayed my husband would get a different job and this year it was answered! Same prayer, same reasons – Gods timing! When Kyle first quit, the week after I started to panic about medical and lack of funds. Than I took a step back and realized God is providing for me in all the ways I asked,  why would I tarnish or take away from the blessings that God has put before me? That’s when I became proactive versus reactive and started to seek out side opportunities that would help us through the holiday months. Here is the deal, so much of what we foresee as stress God has intended for three things to take place:

1) to get our focus back on Him

2) to show us his power

3) to simply bless us

Almost every hurtle I can attest to looking back, one if not all three of these things have been intricately woven throughout my life. What I may initially thought for bad God was saying no Julie this is going to be good, trust me! My youngest son for instance gets seizures and they normally occur when he comes down with a virus. For so long I’ve made myself worry and get so upset in my fear I get angry with God. But through the episodes we have had, as I look back I see God has never abandoned me, my child is not harmed by them, and I’ve learned a great deal about strength, prioritizing God over my children, and again my powerlessness in these situations. I don’t think God said Julie I want to hurt you so here you go… I think God said I want to bless you and I want you to know my power in your fear and my strength in your weakness so here is an opportunity to show you my love for you and for your child! Now that may not make much sense to you but to this mama I can look back at those times and feel comfort, relief even because I know God was working on my behalf in the moments I couldn’t even formulate words or reasons.

I am so grateful to serve a God who is all powerful and all loving! As I go into this Christmas season Celebrating God’s love has been my focus. I am so entirely blessed to have the privledge of knowing Jesus as my savior. The birth of this precious baby that has brought healing to the world and future generations alike. This year we have much to be grateful for and as I look onward I see greater blessings to come. I hope you have a merry Christmas season!

hugs,

Julie Black

Ever wonder why God is having you go through this? Feeling like you are carrying the weight of the world and God is nowhere to be found? It’s in these times one can easily succumb to feelings of hopelessness, anger, frustration, envy, fear, sorrow, even confusion. As I lay awake due to a gastro bug I got (eating sushi most likely) I can’t rest. My body is cramping and I can’t physically get comfortable. The week before Luke caught a virus which led to further sleep deprivation and now Judah has the same bug. So there you have it in the midst of all the other drama and uneasiness with my husband officially quitting his job, being stressed about where to go from here, and now dealing with two different viruses, fevers and everything septic I am left with one question… why God?

It’s  easy to feel that emptiness when life feels like it’s constantly running amuck. Like you can’t make sense out of the days or even minutes before you. Yet as I cried out in desperation tonight, I could feel God speaking into my heart. Reminding me of all my heartaches I’ve experienced over my life and how they’ve been answered by His unfailing love and grace. Within this reminiscing I’m capable of saying with certainty this too shall pass! For it’s a building block, a fundamental pillar to shape me for where He desires me to go.

As hard as this season has been, for I now God is at work in my heart. He is teaching me some of the most vital lessons one can learn and reshaping my heart for something greater. I grew up with money and a lot of it. Money for years has been an idol to some capacity. Throughout my marriage money has played different roles and filled various needs. We’ve had seasons of abundanance and seasons of scarcness. This time around as we enter a frugile season we are being taught a completely different lesson than years past.  This time in our marriage we are on the same page with money. How we want to approach money. What does money mean and what role do we want money to have in our lives. See I truly believe God is preparing us so that one day when money is no longer a concern we won’t worship it like I was taught. It won’t validate insecurities or status. It will be a tool merrily for God’s kingdom.

Money, careers, illness these are some of my major stress points and I’m dealing with them all at the same time. I have been batteling myself between being a stressed out mess to trying to find peace and most importantly joy! See if I don’t have joy I’m bitter and angry. I’m envious of others freedoms. I’m frustrated at my circumstance. But joy can NOT be shaken. I felt God put this on my heart tonight, “ In this world there will be many heartaches and sarrows. Yet do not let the world take your joy for if you do you will not have faith which leads to optimism which leads to hope which leads back to joy! Protect joy! For it’s the only way to rise above the ashes.” I also felt Him say to me to not get discouraged through the journey. Enjoy it! Allow it to grow you into the joyous family you’re meant to be. Do not let money and circumstances define you. Rise above it knowing I am leading you to greener pastures. I have proven it to you in your past and I am at work now! Trust in me fully and do not let your heart be troubled. For I am a restorer and I will restore you too!”

Now when I hear God it’s not some auditory voice, however; these thoughts will come into my mind that clearly are not my own. For they are higher, full of peace, and optimism. If that wasn’t enough I get scriptures that always back up whatever I believe I’m hearing. For just as I was in my little bubble scrolling on Facebook and hearing these thoughts I get this notification on my Bible app which reads:

As you do not know the path of the wind,
 or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God,
    the Maker of all things. (Ecclesiastes 11:5)

We serve a good God don’t we? Just when we feel like He is nowhere to be found He is right there saying child you are mine and I’ve got this! Stop worrying and start TRUSTING! Trust has been my word for the last three years. It started back when Judah was about a two we had taken a trip to Tahoe for the weekend. The snow was white and falling and it looked like a true winter wonderland. Yet that night things went from fairytale to nightmare. Judah went to bed that night and when he awoke a few hours later he had a 103 tempature. Being that I didn’t have any medicine with us, my husband drove out in awful conditions to get tylonal for our baby. The next morning we rushed home to only experience a scarier situation. That night Judah awoke and came into our room, I half asleep could feel him lunging at Kyle. Now my baby only cuddled with me until recently so for him to want my husband was a straight up sign something was off (lol). But upon the second lunge my mommy instincts all started sounding off! I grabbed my son turned on the light to see him shaking uncontrollably. His mouth was blue, his skin was flush, breathing was non existent. I did not know what was going on and in that moment I truly felt like I was about to lose my baby. I rushed in the bathroom, yelled for my husband to dial 911 and started to get the bathroom steamy to open up his airways. Within a few minutes he started to breathe and the shaking stopped. I handed him to the parametics where another (seizure) came upon him, his temp went from 100 to 105 all within minutes and I just remember sitting in the ambulance on our way to the hospital thinking..God please don’t take my son! Please somehow someway get us through this.

God did get us through it and although we’ve had other close calls with our son where medics had to be called, God has been faithful in answering this worried Mama’s initial prayer. He has used these experiences to help me trust in Him more and realize how much is truly out of my control. The lessons haven’t been easy but they have been worth it. For I know I am constantly learning how to give up control and trust!

This season I’m experiencing is another tool God is using to show me His goodness even when I can’t see it! In the midst of the stressors of life, He is right before me knitting together an absolute masterpiece! So I just have to ask will you trust Him before seeing the magnificiant creation He is slowly unfolding or will you remain angry, hurt, and frustrated? God is at work regardless of which path you choose but for me and this Mama’s heart I choose JOY!

Hugs,

Julie Black

 

Happy Friday Friends! Many of you have been waiting with great anticipation as I reveal what God is leading us to. It’s interesting how God works, how we envision this great answer to unfold right in front of our eyes. Yet God doesn’t always work in this capacity. Sometimes He unveils the steps little by little. Like a flashlight shining right in front of your feet. As Kyle and I have submitted our hearts fully to prayer, God has revealed to us one move we are to make and that’s my husband quitting his job! And no we don’t have another position lined up.

It’s slightly scary yet it’s a leap of faith we both feel God is impressing upon us. So we are going to do it! With this decision there is also much change that will follow. My husband makes a good living in his profession but with this job there has been a disconnect in how we can truly submit ourselves to a budget, to honoring God as well as our marriage.

By letting go of the things that create “stability,” by worldly standards, yet keeps us apart from truly living out a faithful walk, is where Kyle and I intentionally are rebuilding our foundation. By making this decision we both have had to take an emotional inventory discerning where in our hearts and actions that fall short of God’s desires. For me materialism has been my weakness, my downfall between experiencing all of God’s glory and true riches.

Growing up in a home that money was prioritized over all else, it was challenging to differentiate between reality and illusion. It presented a facade, a false identity I was able to hide behind to escape the heartaches of the world. As I have gotten older and separated myself from my family and these principals I grew up around; I have been shredded little by little of this falsehood. Yet the problem with growing up living behind a facade is as I uncover who God desires me to be, I can feel gipped at times. Confused as to why I don’t have this comfort or that luxury and as I give into this comparison game of my past to my present, I’m awe struck of how incredibly shallow and superficial I remain. The child I thought was so far from me isn’t far from me at all. And if I am going to be really honest, that little toddler will peek out of me in my current state.

God is using this season, in “my dessert” so to speak to refine me. To refine my priorities. To get me to submit fully to the will of God. It’s within this test of faithfulness to live without the things of this world, so that my husband and I can flourish on a tight monetary budget. It’s saying no to this world over and over and over again and saying Yes to God!

See the test? God has tested those in the Bible and He is doing it again on this earth in this day and age. He tested Moses in the desert to follow His commands full heartedly as he led the Israleites out of Egypt. He tested Joseph who was a little proud but was oh so faithful to God despite his hardships. From his brothers selling him to the Egyptians, to Joseph gaining success to only lose it, to being cast down in a prison cell, all to be the vessel God used to bring providence to a bleak nation. It’s in submitting to God’s ultimate authority that something truly transformational will follow!

I do not know what the next step will be in terms of my husbands career or our success. But can I tell you how extremely excited I am to live fully in step within the word of God.  How freeing and enjoyable life is going to be! For it says in Matthew 6:24, “ No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

As we have made these inventories I’d like to take a moment and challenge you to look inwardly at yourself. Identify where in your life you are allowing worldly desires to overshadow God’s word. “But your iniquities have made a seperation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.” (Isaiah 53:6) For when we turn our eyes away from God, He cannot fully bless what is not His.

Friends I am excited to hear God and to allow Him to come into our family fully to make it His! For He is a great God. I am honored to turn in the keys of our life to the superior who can far out due any accomplishment my husband and I have tried to build up over the past 4 years! For in Him there is truth and life so let’s get started on this demo and make it into the masterpiece He has envisioned from the start!

Hugs,

Julie Black

 

As I look around my little world all I can see is worry. Regardless of what’s on the agenda their is so many things keeping me from experiencing what’s right before me because I am riddled with everything that’s happening around me. I wake up, their is already a checklist of things that didn’t get done the night before so I scramble to get ahead of time before the kids get up. I’m exhausted, but if I don’t get ahead of the curve than we all know it’ll be impossible to strike order. I don’t even get the load of laundry in the washing machine before the boys rise from their restless night sleep. Needing their morning snuggles which lasts for all of three minutes before their demands begin. The calm is over in a flash and than it’s off to the races… cooking, cleaning, folding, teaching, playing, and in this battle I just have to pause for a moment. It’s no wonder I feel depleated, restless, anxious. For there is never a moment to come up for air before the waves are crashing overhead. Is this how God desires me to live? To parent?

Balance is a dirty word everyone wants yet no one is quite sure how to profit. For what’s “balance,” to one individual could be a potential disaster for another. How do I do this life thing with intent and purpose without losing myself in the hustle and bustle of expectation? Perhaps it’s simple, perhaps striving for balance has more to do with moments than an overall approach. Perhaps it’s being present with what’s before me knowing fully well that my brain will wonder ahead of my feet and than gently bringing my wondering thoughts back to the life that’s occurring before my eyes.

In this day and age we get to know everything all the time and it’s with this ever present knowledge that anxiety brews. For we know every sickness that is striking, every fight that is occurring, and more gossip than one would ever care to know. With this constant access we bombard our brains and overwhelm our systems trying to keep up with it all!

Which brings me to Fall, my favorite time of year!I love the leaves changing colors, the air is cooling, sweatshirts and yoga pants make their comeback but in all of its goodness it’s also a time of panic. See my youngest son usually gets really sick in the fall and winter months and his asthma can make a simple cold into a 911 call! I live on the edge of my seat, making myself sick with worry and fear of the potential of losing him. And every year the CDC reports that this year is the worst than the one before, furthering my anxiety. It’s so easy to get lost in the noise of the world. Yet we as believers are called to God’s authority! He tells us not to fear, that we will have trouble in this world, but take heart for He has overcome this world!

He knows what’s before each of us and no amount of vaccines or Lysol wipes will prevent an illness that He has either destined for us or against us. This life is finite. It’s in His timing not our own. This season of life I’ve been in has been harder than I can fathom at times. I have had to take time outs from family relationships, I’ve had to muster the strength and courage to walk with my husband as we together pray and discern on where we are being called to go and as a result what career path we are to go down. I’ve had to lay down my stressors daily so I can engage with my children in being their teacher as well as their mommy! I’ve had to let go of many ideals and succumb to the realities of what is! Yet I am discovering significant truths about who God is and who I am throughout this process.

I am never going to be a perfect mom or wife. I am never going to have all my ducks in a row all the time or ever. I am imperfect. I have flaws and heartaches that run deeper than I care to attest to and I am also really really loved. God has stepped into my life this past year and has shown me that my vulnerabilities do not make me weak. I can face almost anything with God at my side. I don’t need perfect health, a good job, a stable family. I just need Him. It’s through Him he restores and brings hope! My husband and I, in the midst of unsettling circumstances have truly been united together. That is fully God! We where in complete opposition of each other in all facuets of life yet we where able to bring forth humility and through that humility God has transformed our love for one another and has redefined our marriage!

Life isn’t always getting to know what’s before you sometimes it’s living with what’s in front of you. Making it truly that simple is freeing on so many levels. For when I can let go and focus on the moment before me I am able to release doubt, insecurity and fear and trustingly enjoy in the beauty residing before my eyes. Let go of feeling you need to be up to date on everything and just let God prepare your heart for the road He has destined for you! No matter what lies ahead He makes beauty out of ashes. Don’t succumb to this world and it’s never resting state of panic and misery yet look up to God’s unfailing love!

Hugs,

Julie Black

We’ve all heard the saying, “marriage takes a lot of work!” Yet why is marriage supposedly so hard? I am not claiming to be an expert, but being someone who didn’t know their spouse very long prior to tying the knot, being very young going into marriage, having a baby right off the bat, experiencing a death in the family, buying a house, having my family move away right before the birth of my second child, dealing with dysfunctional family relationships, being a survivor of abuse, being on a single family income, having financial struggles, having a son with medical issues, and having personal health issues myself…I can say that even though we haven’t been together decades we have been through the ringer and every year we grow stronger despite the odds, but why? Here is my honest answer, we serve God above ourselves and we love each other unconditionally!

In today’s society we live in a generation of self and “feel goods,” it’s in that obsession of self the ideology of marriage gets suffocated. See it’s very hard to be apart of a partnership when all you’re concerned with is you. My husband and I went through seasons of selfishness and it almost broke us apart. He was focused on work, money, supporting a family, and his needs/comforts and I was consumed with the kids, the dogs, meals, laundry, and all the other necessities that go into being a stay at home mom. We also had very different ideals of what would ultimately bring our family happiness and success and how best to achieve it. These differences caused us to drift and the additional pressures of outside family relationships and expectations caused resentments and bitterness. It was safe to say that our home was definitely divided except for one major thing; we loved God and we served Him together. If it wasn’t for this major foundational pillar we would of without a doubt became another statistic.

I became a prayer worrier in my unhappiness. My bitterness would show through and I’d have to again go to prayer and seek forgiveness from my spouse for my tone or action and strive to become a better wife and example for my own sons. As the years past Kyle’s maturity sprang leaps and bounds. He started to shed his insecurities and as a result his ability to remain calm in tense situations increased to another measure. God wasn’t just working on our marriage, He was working on ourselves. Time passed and we got along in a more mature and adult like fashion. Yet we lacked a friendship. We loved each other without a doubt, but being married so young and having a baby 6 months after tying the knot did not allow for much “bonding time.” As we contemplated having another baby when our second turned two, God really put it on my heart that we needed time to grow our marriage not our family. So we have spent the last few years developing our marriage. We do this by going to counseling to work on our communicational skills, setting boundaries and addressing things as a unified front. Another major thing we have done to reframe our marriage as priority is set boundaries even in our own family. My obsession for the past 5 years has been my kids and they have taken precedence over my marriage. I have finally been able to let go and regain our tringle so to speak: God at the top, then our marriage, then our family, and so on an so fourth. We are working in unison with each other and it’s absolutely beautiful to witness.

I can honestly say people over complicate marriage. It’s not about finding the perfect spouse it’s loving each other enough to look at yourself and acknowledge your own short comings to become the wife/husband God needs you to be for your partner. As long as you’re BOTH doing this daily marriage is without a doubt successful. the key is both, unity, togetherness. Marriage is a partnership which means it takes two. There are times where I have had to carry the weight for the two of us to survive and times where Kyle has had to carry us and times where we are in sync doing equal work together. Regardless of where you stand currently, prayer is a powerful tool that brings forth change and ultimately unity. Happiness shouldn’t be the scale to determine how good a marriage is, for happiness comes and goes. But seeking joy in marriage is beyond a feeling it’s a state of mind. For even in the of midst sorrows I can find joy!

“May the God of hope fill you with all the joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

Hugs,

Julie Black

Do you ever feel like your head is literally spinning? Like life keeps going by and you can’t figure out wether you’re coming or going? These past few months I feel disoriented. In waiting for a response about my husbands job applications, I find myself to be torn between the present and the ongoing stress that hangs over my husband and I as we continue to wait. Waiting is by far one of the most challenging things that we as humans have to do. Wether you’re waiting for a test result, career news, or food at a restaurant it can feel incredibly difficult. The Bible calls us to be patient in all things, look here in Romans chapter 12

“Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times.
(Romans 12:12)

God doesn’t only call us to be patient, He calls us to remain hopeful and joyful! This goes back to the ideal that we are to thank God before the answer comes, anticipating His goodness. Yet it’s easy to flow in and out of hopefulness. To feel that depletion of joy when your bank accounts are lacking and that test result just wasn’t what you where anticipating. So how do we remain joyful and encouraged when our life seemingly takes a turn we didn’t anticipate? I find the answer in Jeremiah 3

“Then I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will lead you with knowledge and understanding. In those days, when your numbers have increased greatly in the land,” declares the LORD, “people will no longer say, ‘The ark of the covenant of the LORD.’ It will never enter their minds or be remembered; it will not be missed, nor will another one be made. 3:15-16”

I recommend you read Jeremiah 3 in its full context, but in reference to this passage we can see God’s faithfulness to His people. How a generation so lost, so torn, so broken is still capable of rising above the ashes and falling into God’s grace. God doesn’t just forgive, He covenants His people promising to “Shepard” them in knowledge and understanding. Now we know God doesn’t change and He communicates to us today the same way He did back than. In life’s circumstances it can feel like God is silent and there is no “sheparding,” so to speak to be found. That’s usually when God really shows up! We all have specific needs that we desire God to meet. We have promises that we want to be fulfilled and we have brokenness we want God to heal and transform into something great! To seek God we must remain in prayer.

This past week I had a situation occur,  I’ve been ebbing and flowing trying to remain hopeful. Yet with every day that passed without answers by doubt started to grow.

Every night in our family after the boys have finished getting ready for bed and brushed their teeth we read bedtime stories. Judah has become obsessed with this book we rented from our local library, “Dewey There’s a Cat in the Library” and every night for the past month he has been wishing for his own Dewey. So I started thinking that maybe this kitten idea was a good one. So I started praying about it (now God speaks to each of us individually, for me animals are my therapy. I love having new fur babies in the house, but this time I needed God to use this as a sign that He is hearing our family’s needs and that I wasn’t just going to make it happen)And in my prayer I gave a detailed list of the things I needed in order for me to know this was a sign from God, so I included: orange male kitten, looks like Dewey, from a lady’s house, preferably a rescue, shots/neutered, and free.

Now kitten season is ending and finding a male orange kitten was very difficult. Nobody had one anywhere I called a few rescues, looked online, and posted on Facebook that we where looking for an orange male kitten. Nothing. Seven days after my initial prayer and quest began I received a reply on Facebook with information of a gal that was fostering a orange male kitten. After we made contact she informed me that if we claimed him within the next three days she would not be entering him into animal outreach. She said that if we wanted him we could meet him tonight (Monday) and pick him up Wednesday after his neuter procedure. So our family went to this lady’s house to meet the kitty. He looked just like Dewey, was small and orange with white paws and he was free! God has answered my prayer over something I truly wasn’t anticipating He was going to answer. He had given me a sign when I needed one the most.

It was in this prayer request God showed me a few things. 1) I’m needy – I need God to show me signs otherwise I allow doubt to enter my heart and mind. When I feel like God is silent my trust in Him begins to waver.

2) God is faithful- even in the little things He shows up! I really got to see that play out recently with the kitten situation. I prayed for very specific things and I was able to see the blessing was from God because of my specific requests. In prayer be specific for than you shall see what is of God.

3) Everything is in His timing. We must remember that our time constraints do not matter to God! We are His and when He desires for our prayers to be met they will be. We can not rush it, force our agenda, or do anything to speed up God’s timeline.

I serve a faithful God one who is abounding in love and fulfills on His promises. This season has brought me to my knees on more than one occasion but through His goodness I am able to remain in joy and hope knowing He will never leave nor forsake me. That as I choose to remain in Him, I can bare much fruit! For He will shepard me in the ways of His own heart guiding me in knowledge and understanding!

Hugs,

Julie Black