Okay… So God is at work helping us decide on what the right move is in terms of leaving or staying. Like I mentioned in my vlog we are both making a list and in two weeks will reveal what bullet points have been answered and which ones haven’t to help us truly discern where God is leading us, and guess what He is already at work!
Earlier this week one of my closest girlfriends who also happens to be an amazing real estate agent came by to give us her professional opinion on whether to sell or rent our home if we go. One of my notions on my list for God. This has been a fighting point in our marriage for years, but guess what God’s timing is truly perfect because for the first time EVER my husband and I are on the same page. Neither one of us feels any force from the other we are both just truly surrendering to God’s will. By taking this step its amazing to see this life decision be taken with joy and excitement versus anger and resentment. So far as we seek for answers God has aligned us and the housing decision is just yet again another answer to prayer!
As the days go by I keep asking myself would I miss this area? Would it be hard to be away from Kyle’s family? Than something happened in my wandering. I felt this urge to randomly invited my father- in-law to the boys swim lesson and to lunch afterward. The visit was fine but in this specific encounter I saw things from a place I haven’t before. It wasn’t that the incidents that occurred where bad, yet what occurred helped me see the excess stress and pressure that is applied to our family. Sometimes when families live close the expectations to be available for all of their functions in addition to the ones you want to prioritize can be a lot on a person. Being that I am the scheduler for the family the stress to make or break an engagement falls upon my shoulders and their is something with family that saying “no” to things can be taken as rude or disrespectful.
After having time to process I think God was allowing me to take a step back and realize the stress I put on myself to please everyone. As a result the kids are over tired and I am grumpy because I am now playing catch up on Monday for the week because I didn’t prioritize myself in getting the help from my husband to do the things that would ease the stress load for the week ahead. In addition to just trying to please everyone and be everywhere my husband’s family puts additional stress on us to do things that really wouldn’t have our best interest at heart. Though the motive I believe isn’t coming from a selfish spot it would inevitably be me who’d be making the biggest sacrifice. For whatever the reasons may be the dynamic between my in-laws and us, in my opinion, feels like we are still children answering to our parents. After this visit instead of being worried or sad about the possibility of moving I felt a sense of relief and excitement. Of course, we would all still miss them but perhaps it could be the best thing for all of us.
With change there is always a lot to consider and nothing about this decision will be without sacrifice. Yet allowing us to see the pros and cons in all situations is helpful regardless of where God takes us. It’s in these self truths that healthier boundaries can be established and ultimately relationships can flourish. The more that is revealed to my husband and I the more peace we have about the outcome ahead and we can embrace the change with peace and contentment!
hugs,
Julie Black
Faith Based Heart by Julie Black 