Today is THE DAY … It’s the day before Friday that leads to the kickoff to the weekend! I have come to love and anticipate Thursdays! It’s turning into a scared day, for every Thursdays brings a time for my husband and I to reconnect, talk, and create new visions for our future!
My husband and I have always valued marriage and family, yet like so many other couples we lacked authentic communication. Sure we would talk and catch up with one another but the deeper stuff the pivotal conversation pieces where somewhat avoided. In life we are given these “lightbulb moments,” when the need and the situation will somehow line up and the heart manages to be open enough to accept the outcome. For us this meant seeking council outside of ourselves.
As a mother keeping the pyramid the way God has outlined can seem impossible. After all we are given these helpless infants and our maternal instincts kicks into high gear to assess every situation and need for our child. Than the infant grows and becomes more self sufficient yet our dependency to our child stays in tact. Switching back to prioritizing God and then our husbands before our children can sound comical at times yet God commands it…Why? It’s within counseling these deep conversations where capable of being explored and this is one major way our life remained unbalanced. Through our wonderful counselor and ultimately God I was being shown how inverting the triangle so to speak can really create issues not just between you and your husband but for the whole family. There is a designated purpose and reason for having God at the top and your spouse in second in command. Since two become one you’re not just prioritizing your spouse your prioritizing yourself as well. We all know the bible verse “wives submit to your husband.” It can sound demeaning or even harsh yet as my counselor shared his personal insight with my husband and I, we walked away feeling this verse should be scarified in marriage. See the husband is to selflessly (key word here) seek to submit to the need of his wife and prioritize her desires before his own and the wife is to come before her husband with the same mindset thus allowing a safe space that than you TOGETHER can come to a consensus about the issue at hand.
This illustration can be demonstrated even with just simple communication. A person’s goal in communication shouldn’t be that they just hear you, but in all actuality they are just waiting for you to be done speaking so they can get their piece in and tell you how you ought to navigate the situation at hand. But rather really listen to what you are actually saying AND feeling so they can be of a support for you and so you can walk through it together. Gaining a deeper level of emotional intimacy and ultimately TRUST.
Marriage isn’t about beating the other person but winning together, building your family up through God. By keeping your marriage the focus you are demonstrating something far healthier for your children to witness than any other thing you could possibly give them for when you truly love and respect each other you are setting the precedent on how your child should be loved and how they one day will love their spouse. I am cherishing these Thursdays we spend with each other, growing and deepening our love, respect and communication for one another. These are the best Thursdays of my life!
Hugs,
Julie Black
Faith Based Heart by Julie Black 