Shining Through Truth!

This week I reflect on truth.  Truth can bring forth many challenges and realizations as you analyze it and try to define it for yourself. I am a truth speaker. I am the friend many come to when they want an honest opinion about a matter. Although I love to be a help to my friends; when I define truth in my own life it can bring me down some hard roads and choices that I ultimately have to make.

Having a past like mine has definitely brought me to some dark places and unfortunately my biological family has been at the root of many of my heartaches. As I have matured through being a wife and mother, my center focus remains on relationships and health. I am learning, however in spite of my best efforts they do not always coincide with one another. In fact, many relationships can be based in manipulation, stress, anxiety, guilt, and concern. With so much negativity it can seem impossible to truly be healthy and remain in a place of positivity. This is why seeking and speaking truth can be a challenge. For if I know a relationship is toxic for me, is it worth holding onto regardless of the tie I may have to that individual?

“Toxic relationships not only make us unhappy; they corrupt our attitudes and dispositions in ways that undermine healthier relationships and prevent us from realizing how much better things can be.” -Michael Joseph

I serve a good God, one abounding in love and grace. It is through His love I have been able to forgive past hurts by releasing the bitterness that could so easily entangle me. Yet with forgiveness, healing is impossible if change has not occurred on both sides. I am learning that to ultimately have God’s healing, sometimes you need time to let the restoration take place. If the time keeps getting interrupted by new pain, well than the transformation will only continue to be delayed. Think of it like building a house and every time the sheetrock goes up, someone takes a hammer to it, ultimately knocking the sheetrock down.  Energy and time are limited sources as I must choose daily how and who I want to use these precious gifts upon.

I need to fully have healing over the battle scars I have endured in my young life. There are many wounds that gape open and the bleed in areas I wish they did not. There is very real pain and torment I am still over coming to this day. Yet each day I am getting new perspective. These past few months when my physical health came into trouble, God really had to show me that I can not handle everything just by saying “I’m Okay!”  I have to start taking care of myself… That does not make me selfish it makes me healthy!To get healthy, I believe God had to show me physically how many things where off balance. The funny thing is, when you start to balance one thing your mind starts to show you other areas that need tending to. So for me: I changed my diet, got into an exercise routine, my husband and I got into marital counseling(which also doubled as a consistent date night and a much needed break from my kids) and now its clarifying boundaries so we can truly thrive in all aspects of life.

The process hasn’t been easy, but I feel a real sense of freedom and joy through it! I am finally empowered and through that empowerment I am finding true health and healing: mentally, physically, and spiritually! I may not be able to control the world but I can control who I let overtake me, and truthfully when you master that you’ve mastered the world! I am only here on this earth for a limited time. So it’s vital that I give energy to those who I hold the most dear and stop taking on those who continue to bring my spirit down. I will value health over guilt and let God’s love outshine the lies! I love how Psalm 52:8 captures this concept. ” But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.” I will choose to be the olive tree!

Hugs,

Julie Black