This last week has been a whirlwind. Kids getting back into school. Judah’s asthma being triggered from his virus and all the smoke in the air. Our dog has had ongoing diarrhea. And I am learning how to be a teacher to my boys, manage my blog, and keep up with all the other daily things I do. Life sure can be overwhelming and it’s those little things that can just throw me over the edge. Like the stress of an asthma attack and our dog’s health. It seems like those little life things that “just happen,” can seem like the world is coming to an end!
I am a planner. I like to know what’s on my docket before the day begins. In fact, I like knowing what’s happening so much I have three planners I update weekly, sometimes daily. It’s in the anticipation of knowing what’s before me, that I can prep for every possible outcome and prepare myself accordingly! It’s within the anticipation I can create more anxiety or peace depending on how I foresee the situation going. Yet lately, my docket is a scattered mess. I don’t know if I am coming or going. Things seem chaotic and everywhere I turn, there seems to be more unknowns.
It’s challenging at times to put faith ahead of emotions. To trust in God’s plan over my life then what I see right before me. For when I am not trusting I’m fearing. As a mom there is a lot of fear that just surrounds our kids in general. Vaccines, schools, bullies, friends, and so on. Being a mom can be a fear driven place if I don’t keep it in perspective. In this life their is truthfully so little I can control.When anxiety begins to grip me I have to redirect my focus clinging to truth and resolving fear. Last year I learned about breathe prayer and it’s something I have incorporated into my life especially when anxiety is present. It’s in the simplicity of taking a deep breath saying “Jesus,” and breathing out that truly center the body and mind.
Fear and anxiety are mentioned in the Bible 365 times. God knew that this would be a real problem for His people. Fear can entrap us and grip our souls if we aren’t aware/vigilant of where these attacks stem from. So much of what we fear is an illusion of what could be versus the realities of what’s right before us. Fear overtakes us and trust resides within us. I am learning to still trust in God. I am in a season right now where that is all I can do. I do not know what career path God will lead my husband to and where that job will ultimately take our family. Yet I have to trust that God will guide us accordingly in our quest and wherever we go will be good. I do not know how proficient of a teacher I’ll be with the boys; or if I am even capable of furthering their love for learning thus advancing their skills in the process. Yet I have to trust that God has led us as a family to do this. Even just the shift in my husband, who has ALWAYS been anti-homeschool is now embracing the idea and encouraging me in the process. God’s got a plan. I may not understand fully what His plan entails but I know He is good and these unknowns are further growing my trust in Him. I am learning I can either be on lockdown in fear or embrace the unknown and trust!
No matter what my day consists of, I know He has planned for it. He has taken everything into account, weighed out the outcomes and will see us through whatever path He deems as “right.” His discernment is far keener than that of my own. I may not initially like the path He has set before me, yet when I trust I can see His love delicately entangled through the hard times. Life brings many challenges but their is beauty in the ashes.
“Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strengthand my defense[a];
he has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2
Hugs,
julie Black
Faith Based Heart by Julie Black 