Everything in my life is upside down I’d be lying to say my heart doesn’t ache… yes I want to know if my husbands career is ever going to come back to fruition, yes I want to know medical care and insurance is in check, yes I want to know if our home is going to be on the market or if we are to stay within this structure. I just want structure. I want to go back to a simpler time; when our nation valued God, when being an American was something people where proud of, when the flag was raised high and every child and person recited the pledge “One Nation under God,” when children where defined as male or female. I miss the times of a few channels on TV and almost everything was deemed appropriate for the whole family. Oh how I miss it! I ache for it. Yet, that’s not the times we live in is it?
We live in a time where everyone is trying to be famous on some type of platform, where sex has been turned into a corrupt delusion, babies are aborted at a higher rate than ever and now states like New York and Vermont have deemed it acceptable to kill them at full term! That last one breaks my heart to even wright such an evil vicious act and how the government backs it, is beyond me. Gender is perverse and children are losing the right to be happy in their God given gender as boy or girl. Men are berated and if you’re a white male you are viewed in the worst light. Conservatives are viewed as intolerant. Liberals are seen as too progressive. Everyone is pitted against one another. IS this life? Is this freedom? If it is… why does our nation have the highest rates of depression and anxiety? Why is it more common to die of a drug overdose than a natural cause?
Today after scrolling through my news feed I was so angry at what was being seen as “just” and classified as a “feminist issues,” I had to go for a walk to cool down. I like to pray when I walk to really let God have a piece of my mind. “Lord, how can you stand by, how can you allow this type of murder to occur?” Just as I was mid sentence God started to speak to me, “Because everyone gets to choose”. As much as I want to argue I can’t. From the beginning of man God allowed us to follow him or to follow our flesh. Americans have chosen to walk away from God, to deem Science over biblical foundation, to discredit our forefathers, to abandon history. So, how can I expect people to be different when they are consciously choosing to allow everything God created to be overran by man. How can I expect morality to matter when we can’t even define a male from a female. Even true Science doesn’t have a place in society anymore.
“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.” (Isaiah 5:20)
My heart goes out to all of those who are feeling judged, who perhaps have chosen some roads they aren’t proud of and wonder if God could ever forgive them! The answer is Yes, He does without hesitation! “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” ( Zephaniah 3:17) No matter what is happening in your life God has not given up on you. I am truly a testament to His great love. I turned away from God after years of growing up in a “Christian home,” where abuse flourished and sickness presented itself in a multitude of forms. In my pain I turned to alcohol and sex to fill the voids; which only brought forth more sadness, pain, and anger. Yet, God never gave up on me. Even when I had given up on myself God saw me through the darkness. After a few years of being miserable, out of control, and completely heart broken I stumbled back into church one Sunday morning. It was in that service life started to make sense and this peace came over my heart that I had not felt since I was a little girl and it was in that moment I recommitted myself to the Lord and never looked back.
Sure life may not be rainbows and roses but I have peace in knowing He is before me through all things. ” Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? you are not on your own; you were brought at a price.” (1 Corinthians 6: 19-20) Life here may not be easy but it serves a purpose, for if there wasn’t you wouldn’t be here. We all play some role in this day, this time in history. As I think about the future and what type of legacy I want to leave behind, I think about relationships those who are immediate family and those I have distant relations to. I think about my friends and even some enemies. And as I ponder I think about God and why He has called me to a time such as this, so contrary to the ideal world I envision to raise my family in. What is my purpose? Sometimes God doesn’t roll out our calling in lights and sometimes He does. But I think pursuing His purpose for my life comes from the little embers that spark in my heart and vocalizing my conflictions through writing. Writing has always been a natural talent of mine. Something that brings joy and delight within. Therefore, all gifts can be used to serve his kingdom so I write and share my inner hearts troubles, joys, and afflictions to bring glory to the one who is most high. Who is a God of love and peace and who wants to comfort and save. Through all my days regardless of what I have faced or what is to come I can rest easy knowing that my God is all powerful, all knowing, and the victory is His.
Friends, life is not everlasting and our time is short. Each day we have the opportunity to make this world brighter or darker. We get to set the tone for how we want to treat one another and value human life as a whole. All life is precious in God’s eyes. Let us not forget that life is the ultimate blessing from heaven, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” (Jeremiah 1:5) No matter how dark the world may seem or how deep the despair I am grateful to say that life (all life) is valuable, precious, and worth every sacrifice. The innocence of a child at any life stage is worth preserving and fighting for! If that is my legacy alone that is one I am proud to stand behind and I hope you are too!
Hugs,
Julie Black
Faith Based Heart by Julie Black 