Faith Based Heart by Julie Black

Okay Friends,

So I just completed my second week… The DIET I will honestly attest that I have NOT followed it. I have cheated multiple times with ice cream Thursdays (a tradition my Hubbie and I started) and I may have had a few tacos and Fats one night. Okay so here is what I am doing right… I start every morning with a green smoothie that consists of spinach or kale (sometimes both), some fruit (mango, pineapple, banana), egg white protein powder and water or almond milk depending on how hungry I am. If I feel like it I may add a little lemon too.

key here is to 1) get my protein in after the workout and 2) feel up on something healthy so I just don’t cram my body with whatever is convenient. I also have a salad for lunch and I have been trying to sub out tortillas and excess carbs for salad wraps. Fair enough! I’m all about balance.

Going into week TWO I definitely felt more excited and energized to get to the gym than I did in week ONE. I also love the feeling of being sore after my workouts. There is a level of accomplishment and empowerment that sets in with every GYM day kept. My kids have been surprisingly accommodating getting up and ready so mommy can make it to the gym on time! So EXTRA BIG shout out to these two munchkins!

The weight has remained about the same but I am definitely feeling toner and things are starting to tighten up! I rechecked my body fat and within just one week of consistent workouts my body fat is improving! Remember change takes time you have to be patient and stick with it! This week I am going to focus more on the DIET because I ultimately would love to shed a few pounds. So going into WEEK 3… I want to maintain my workout days, cut out those cheat days and get more sleep these are my primary goals ! I can’t believe after next week I will be half way done with my challenge! Transformation is already beginning to take place and by remaining vigilant I can obtain my goals!

Friends weight loss is a journey it doesn’t happen over night so be kind to yourself congratulate those little accomplishments. Ultimately you are striving for a lifestyle not a temporary fix. Keep your eyes on the prize, stay motivated, and keep doing the things that will bring you true happiness. I love my Raw Fit Fam and feel blessed to be apart of this process.

Today is THE DAY … It’s the day before Friday that leads to the kickoff to the weekend! I have come to love and anticipate Thursdays! It’s turning into a scared day, for every Thursdays brings a time for my husband and I to reconnect, talk, and create new visions for our future!

My husband and I have always valued marriage and family, yet like so many other couples we lacked authentic communication. Sure we would talk and catch up with one another but the deeper stuff the pivotal conversation pieces where somewhat avoided. In life we are given these “lightbulb moments,” when the need and the  situation will somehow line up and the heart  manages to be open enough to accept the outcome. For us this meant seeking council outside of ourselves.

As a mother keeping the pyramid the way God has outlined can seem impossible. After all we are given these helpless infants and our maternal instincts kicks into high gear to assess every situation and need for our child. Than the infant grows and becomes more self sufficient yet our dependency to our child stays in tact. Switching back to prioritizing God and then our husbands before our children can sound comical at times yet God commands it…Why? It’s within counseling these deep conversations where capable of being explored and this is one major way our life remained unbalanced.  Through our wonderful counselor and ultimately God I was being shown how inverting the triangle so to speak can really create issues not just between you and your husband but for the whole family. There is a designated purpose and reason for having God at the top and your spouse in second in command. Since two become one you’re not just prioritizing your spouse your prioritizing yourself as well. We all know the bible verse “wives submit to your husband.” It can sound demeaning or even harsh yet as my counselor shared his personal insight with my husband and I, we walked away feeling this verse should be scarified in marriage. See the husband is to selflessly (key word here) seek to submit to the need of his wife and prioritize her desires before his own and the wife is to come before her husband with the same mindset thus allowing a safe space that than you TOGETHER can come to a consensus about the issue at hand.

This illustration can be demonstrated even with just simple communication. A person’s goal in communication shouldn’t be that they just hear you, but in all actuality they are just  waiting for you to be done speaking so they can get their piece in and tell you how you ought to navigate the situation at hand. But rather really listen to what you are actually saying AND feeling so they can be of a support for you and so you can walk through it together. Gaining a deeper level of emotional intimacy and ultimately TRUST.

Marriage isn’t about beating the other person but winning together, building your family up through God. By keeping your marriage the focus you are demonstrating something far healthier for your children to witness than any other thing you could possibly give them for when you truly love and respect each other you are setting the precedent on how your child should be loved and how they one day will love their spouse. I am cherishing these Thursdays we spend with each other, growing and deepening our love, respect and communication for one another. These are the best Thursdays of my life!

Hugs,

Julie Black

Hi Friends,

So this week has brought forth many storms! My husband and I had a situation this weekend that caused some marital tension. Wanting to be as real as possible yet keep some things sacred for just my marriage is a fine line to draw; however, want I do want to share with you is NO marriage is perfect and we all have battles we are facing and my husband and I, no matter how much we truly love one another doesn’t mean we are excluded from these life trials. We are in counseling and loving the freedom to share our truths with one another while receiving a fresh perspective for our marriage. It has been single handedly the BEST decision we have ever made for one another.

Than this Thursday was the day of my mano/ph test. I pray no one has to go through this because it isn’t very fun. Yet it’s doable. First what they do is numb the nose, once the nose is numbed up a bit they stick this flexible tube that monitors your esophagus up your nose and down into your throat. Once in place they have you sip water (saline) a series of 10 times before they take it out. Sounds simple, but friends this is mentally and physically exhausting. You have to fight off all your natural urges to get the tube out and take calm deep breaths instead so you can get through the test. Luckily I watched a series of YouTube videos that really helped prepare me for what was ahead.

This is when it starts to really suck the tube begins to go past the nose and into the throat. At this time it feels like you are being choked and I began to dry heave. Hence the tray next to me. I just took deep breaths and listened to Mark Baldwin “Quiet Reflections.” the music really helps distract and ease the anxiety.  My husband was a huge support when it became really intense He would rub my shoulders and encourage me to keep going.

Once in place they have you lie back a little and relax. Then when you have calmed down they begin the process of saline and taking swallows with the water. This is repeated 10X.

Once this test is DONE they remove the tube. This is painful and very uncomfortable being that their are little rigid barbs at the end of the tube and they aggravate the nose a lot as the tube is being pulled out. After the tube was out my nose began to bleed for several minutes. Once the bleeding subsided, they numbed up the other side and inserted the tube for the 24 hour ph study and I was free to go!

All in all it was rough but I did it! Going into this I prayed a lot and the moment I got there I opened up my Jesus Calling. Todays devotion read, ” Relax And Let Me Lead You through this day.” The Bible passages it referenced was Pslams 32:8, 119:35, and 143:8. I felt God’s presence from that moment forward. I had this peace and calmness I otherwise wouldn’t have had. Life is a roller coaster of emotions but I am so grateful that I can have this one trial down in book. It was amazing to not only feel God’s presence but the love and support from my husband. He was able to step in and encourage me when I wanted to tap out. I am blessed! Even in the pitfalls of doing what we may not want to do their is immense strength and courage that shines through when we feel at our weakest. “For when I am weak I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-11)  I know this to be true time and time again because God is the one who carries me when I surrender and allow Him to do it.

Hugs,

Julie Black

So my brother is getting married this month and in my search to find something conservative, fashion forward, and appropriate for the in between season we are in has not been easy! My search to find the ideal dress was actually really hard to come across! I spent hours looking online from Nordstrom to Lulus and every major store in between. Being on a strict budget while trying to achieve my vision was seeming impossible until I came across Jessakae, an online boutique. Jessakae strives for conservative clothing at a fair price point while maintaining quality and style in their products. The dress I ordered which is named, “The April Lace Dress in Dusty Emerald,” which is in the teal family (Hot color this upcoming season) with an elegant 3/4 quarter sleeve that flares out giving it a classic yet semi bohemian vibe with the lace detailing was a no brainer for my brother’s ultra conservative country wedding. I even bought the “Nude Studded Heels,” that is paired with the dress on the site and ladies I couldn’t be happier. The dress is so comfortable and hits in all the right places. AND the shoes make the outfit! Valentino Garavani designed the Rockstud slingback pump for $995 however the ones I purchased on Jessakae have a very similar (almost identical) style yet mine where only $69.95… Major Steal!

I also ordered the “Nightfall Abbey Jumpsuit.”

Being that I will be flying in for the wedding I wanted an option I could be comfortable in while on the plane yet versatile enough to dress up with a pair of heels and a statement necklace in case my flight gets in later than expected and I have to jet from the airport to the rehearsal dinner.  This jumpsuit is so comfortable friends I absolutely love wearing it and its super easy to dress up or down!

The last dress I purchased was the “Periwinkle Dollie Dress,” Being that wedding season is just around the corner this dress is ideal for rehearsal dinners or even a brunch. It has a soft feminine purple heugh and is embellished with eyelet butterfly sleeves.

Jessakae is a wonderful boutique that fits true to size I am a size 2 or an xs/s and everything I ordered fit perfectly … Another major bonus was everything was lined so I didn’t have to worry about anything showing through that shouldn’t be. I can’t say enough positive things about this boutique and HGHLY recommend trying it for yourself it will not disappoint!

Hugs,

Julie Black

Okay… So God is at work helping us decide on what the right move is in terms of leaving or staying. Like I mentioned in my vlog we are both making a list and in two weeks will reveal what bullet points have been answered and which ones haven’t to help us truly discern where God is leading us, and guess what He is already at work!

Earlier this week one of my closest girlfriends who also happens to be an amazing real estate agent came by to give us her professional opinion on whether to sell or rent our home if we go. One of my notions on my list for God. This has been a fighting point in our marriage for years, but guess what God’s timing is truly perfect because for the first time EVER my husband and I are on the same page. Neither one of us feels any force from the other we are both just truly surrendering to God’s will. By taking this step its amazing to see this life decision be taken with joy and excitement versus anger and resentment. So far as we seek for answers God has aligned us and the housing decision is just yet again another answer to prayer!

As the days go by I keep asking myself would I miss this area? Would it be hard to be away from Kyle’s family? Than something happened in my wandering. I felt this urge to randomly invited my father- in-law to the boys swim lesson and to lunch afterward. The visit was fine but in this specific encounter I saw things from a place I haven’t before. It wasn’t that the incidents that occurred where bad, yet what occurred helped me see the excess stress and pressure that is applied to our family. Sometimes when families live close the expectations to be available for all of their functions in addition to the ones you want to prioritize can be a lot on a person. Being that I am the scheduler for the family the stress to make or break an engagement falls upon my shoulders and their is something with family that saying “no” to things can be taken as rude or disrespectful.

After having time to process I think God was allowing me to take a step back and realize the stress I put on myself to please everyone. As a result the kids are over tired and I am grumpy because I am now playing catch up on Monday for the week because I didn’t prioritize myself in getting the help from my husband to do the things that would ease the stress load for the week ahead. In addition to just trying to please everyone and be everywhere my husband’s family puts additional stress on us to do things that really wouldn’t have our best interest at heart. Though the motive I believe isn’t coming from a selfish spot it would inevitably be me who’d be making the biggest sacrifice. For whatever the reasons may be the dynamic between my in-laws and us, in my opinion, feels like we are still children answering to our parents. After this visit instead of being worried or sad about the possibility of moving I felt a sense of relief and excitement. Of course, we would all still miss them but perhaps it could be the best thing for all of us.

With change there is always a lot to consider and nothing about this decision will be without sacrifice. Yet allowing us to see the pros and cons in all situations is helpful regardless of where God takes us. It’s in these self truths that healthier boundaries can be established and ultimately relationships can flourish. The more that is revealed to my husband and I the more peace we  have about the outcome ahead and we can embrace the change with peace and contentment!

hugs,

Julie Black

Most of my life I have always known I was meant to write…I just find so much comfort and enjoyment through it. As a mother I have these grandiose ideas of writing mommy blogs, recipe editorials and the truth is real life seems to always catch up and hover over my fantasies and remind me of all the things I have to actually do and it drains me from exploring, taking risks, daring to dream beyond the here and now. We all know life can be depressing, stressful, full of limitations. Yet when we look beyond the limitations and take the steps towards our passions something gets ignited that wasn’t there before. This uplifting hope gets refueled. I see this renewed hope come in the form of a meaningful conversation with my husband or a joyous day with the kids but I also find this joy and passion in writing. That is why I am obligating myself to write because it’s a dream. A dream I’d like to make a reality and with any dream you have to start living it out! So here I go taking these scary borderline uneventful first steps to see what God has in store with this desire that’s been on my heart ever since I was a little girl and God has given me an amazing story that I want to share with you all!

motherhood AND Marriage

I have two boys.. Luke who is in his daddy’s arms and will be turning six in September and Judah who’s going to be four in August. My husband Kyle and I have been married for almost 6 ½ years. God has given me an amazing life and I treasure these days with my boys being “little” and exploring the world around them! I relish in these days of the “mama I need you.” In motherhood it’s easy to lose yourself and the balance of putting God first, than your husband and than your kids can seem impossible.

Being a stay at home mom I find it to be a challenge to put Kyle in the second spot. Putting God first isn’t usually a battle ..I rely on Him daily, but to be honest my kids usually get the second and if I am going to be really honest sometimes they even take the top. What I have found though is that there is grave importance in the pyramid God has outlined. See when we are not communicating with one another about our marriage and prioritizing each other we are taking away from the fundamental structure our kids need for a healthy home. If I want to give them the world I need to start with the man that gave me them. We are building a legacy with the work and effort we put into one another and that love trickles down to our children in more ways than I can count. I am learning for the first time in our 6 1/2 year marriage how to revert back to the pyramid and put it into motion. I am discovering that through doing this we are recreating our friendship and love we have for one another on a deeper intimate level. We are becoming a truly UNITED front!

In this day and age with 50% of marriages end in divorce we need to be honest from the beginning… marriage takes work! It doesn’t come easy and EVERY marriage has trials and trouble. It’s in these pits that we are to lean on God in the good times and the bad. We need to remain  focused on His love and through His love we can show love to our imperfect spouse because we too are imperfect. It’s in these times of uncertainty that we can fall back on the ONE AND ONLY truth there is which leads to hope and renewal. Love is an action but it’s also a choice that is made daily. There is no perfect relationship but there is a perfect way on getting through troubled times and that is through TRUSTING in God and being willing to work on things together! No matter what you’re up against God will plow through the obstacles with that you’re facing if BOTH individuals are willing. Remember miracles don’t always happen overnight. Find peace and solice in knowing that God is for you and in His great love for you miracles do happen. They can come in many forms and often times they come in ways that we’d least expect to find them. Sometimes it takes being broken down to be built back up! Regardless of what you’re facing remember God is before you in all things!

Hugs,

Julie Black